Huh. I wrote a song when I was a teenager about being old and dying that imagined a divine feminine entity “taking me up and turning me into fire in her breast.” That’s some Jungian, Rupert Sheldrake shit. Still a reluctant agnostic, for now …
Imagine anyone being able to understand the female mind. Lol. The concept of the masculine and feminine coming together is found in most esoteric traditions, especially Kashmiri Shaivaism, although seemingly absent from Sufism. I wonder if the sufis are experiencing something more masculine or feminine in their love for the divine, but then again we have an embodiment problem, since most of them don't describe it in those terms.
I am not stuck on any particular traditions, but adhere to what is working for me in any given stage. I tried complacency and it's didn't work out for me very well. Haha. I ttied quitting the spiritual altogether, frustrated and nihilistic after trying to bypass my life, but that only lasted three days. So I have no choice, it seems, but to keep striving, where ever that takes me. It doesn't end with Odin. Even Odin wouldn't end his quest with Odin.
That was poignant, about the dying Christ in your arms. I do struggle with his figure, though. I cannot reconcile living this earthly life with having universal morality, although I know his example of perfection has been commodified and skewed, and his deeper teachings hidden. Or maybe I am just too far away from perfection to see it possible. I should give that some thought.
Apologies for my babbling. But I can't promise I won't do it again. Ha. I haven't talked this much about anything I care about for yeeeeeears as I have in the last few days.
We need to wrestle with God. It is just what it is.
I also had multiple phases, raised catholic, staunch atheist, and then realizing that the need for transcendence is fundamental to the human existence BECAUSE, something truthful is there, even cannot be grasped by bounded intellect.
My sense is that God has infinite faces and speaks to you with no words but in the language you are capable to hear and as such, for me Christ works well, I can expand on that if you wish, but it's lateral to the conversation, what I find important in this dialogue is your spirit of research, we shall always be moved by doubt but preserve child-like curiosity.
And please, no apologies accepted here: it's always a pleasure to chat with you. Glad to have found you on the feed.
We need to continue wrestling, because this is how we train our soul.
It's all worth the wrestling when you find meaning and beauty and experience the ecstasy of surrender, and witness change in your being. There are long periods of time when you feel like you are circling the drain, only to find out you've been morphing within a cocoon.
The study too, the curiosity, even if it cannot be grasped with the mind, I love the different traditions, theories of metaphysics, the different personalities of God.
I was a staunch atheist for the longest time, having been raised by fundamentalist Christians (fire and brimstone, speaking in tongues, evangelism...) Thank God for putting psychedelics on this earth. I felt actual love for the first time in my life on mushrooms. Anything preceding that moment was only a facsimile of love. It annihilate me from the inside out, and I could not tell if I was the one doing the loving, or if I was being loved. I couldn't deny anymore; I couldn't dismiss what I knew deep inside - that this material world was only a tiny fraction of existence. I wanted to believe as a child, but shut myself off because of the church.
Yes, another conversation, another time. Please tell me about your relationship to Christ. I want to know in which ways it is unique, and how it is right for you.
It's a long and multifacetd relationship, everytime I enter in contemplation of it I discover something new about it. This trait is for one quite key in making me more connected to Him. there is something mysterious in a source of continuously renewing meaning.
Some elements worth sharing that made it for me: the discovery of love as the fundamental drive towards the one and the metaphysical need for proper suffering to mediate the process.
I always liked Christ, but never fully understood what he came on earth for. Why didn't he come off the cross, in full glory, in front of everybody? I kept on asking, Why die and resurrect?
The answer came to me while reading Girard.
Big J comes here and says: Put it all on me, I will take it. Suffering all the worst, the treason of the closest friends, my mother looking at me, bleeding, suffocating, humiliated. The whole world scapegoating Him, me included, unleashing our worst. Liberating ourselves, finally feeling superior. Fully embodying the Girardian reference.
And when it is done. When all comes back to normality. We will look for another scapegoat. A new sacrifice for the never-ending wheel of life.
But right there, you come back, big J. Flipping the table. You turn back at me.
Me that I cheered on your sacrifice, and I did not see.
And I tremble, because I killed the son of God. What terrible punishment awaits me? I deserve the worst of all.
But you come closer, and whisper into my ear: “I still love you”.
How is it possible that you can, J?
But you do. And from there the world is changed. A new one is born. From there, you go on and conquer it, and with it, my poor, wretched heart.
If he was helpless...if he could not have come off that cross and shot lasers out of his eyes at the jeering spectators, then the meaning of sacrifice would have been lost. He had a choice in the matter. Without that choice, he would have been a mere victim.
I love the mystery of God. The ability to always find a new aspect, another facet of grace. There is no growth without a mystery to chase, and it is in our best interest not to become attached to anything that would cage him with definition. To remove the framing of descriptors and concept to allow experience to take precedence.
I did pray to Jesus once, after learning that such a thing actually works. I apologized for holding him with such contempt. It was the fault of dogma, not his, that I rejected him in the first place. I felt like he accepted it. Like he somehow missed me from when I was young. But I was on a different path...I remembered after reading what you'd said here.
To be willing to suffer for another out of love, there is no higher meaning to the word. There is no more noble definition than this.
I'm sure Maa is pleased with your tribute. That was a lovely treat to read, the last thing in my head as I drift off to sleep.
I play on the swings whenever I get the chance. It was a nice twist at the end to come back to this reality, sitting in the swing, writing in the sand.
I can't stop thinking about the mother goddess now. I tend to shy away from her. She spits her sweet venom that crawls up my spine, and leaves me alone with the consequences. My only warning of that impending visit is dreams of snakes.
I think it is a polarity thing - she is feminine; so am I. She's sweeter to men. And the opposite can be said of Odin. From what I hear, he is severe with men, but with him I feel like a little baby girl, sitting in his lap, playing with his beard. He is always firm but clear, while she confuses me, leaving me in a bipolar haze for a week.
I know people don't like when you anthropomorphize the gods, but sometimes it suits me. Other times I am in love with the absolute.
One thing I do know - I am clearly not ready for her. She is the final boss.
The Great Mother is no joke, as everything else, she possesses a dual nature (Virgin Mary/Whore of Babylon, Kali/Parvati, Procreating Womb/Devouring Mouth) but hers is particularly volatile.
She is fascinating because she is the darkness of potentiality before consciousness arose, and since consciousness is exhausting, wanting to go back is a constant push in the human mind. But once conquered she is the bearer of fruit.
In the male mind, she appears in the form of the Anima, integrating with her is the path towards individuation Jung mapped out. She is typically a guide towards understanding the Self, which symbol is perfectly embodied by Christ. Making peace with her is source of great alignment, that is why I love her so much.
The female mind is still an object that I struggle to fully comprehend. In there the Anima appears as Animus, a male counterpart, the interaction dynamic with him are more obscure for me, since I don't have an embodied experience of what it feels like. I think Odin can be a good one, provided that you don't stop there. The ultimate objective is full integration.
Again, Christ works well I think for both Female and Male mind, probably in the form of the Dying Christ, which lays in your loving hands, and where you become the reviving spirit that makes the world. I don't know. I still have to wrestle with this.
A man doesn’t meet the feminine by containing her.
He meets her by surviving her.
We lay at her mercy, but trying to conquer Her is an irresistible urge
https://madmansays.substack.com/p/mother-of-mothers
Then you are merely circling…the invitation is there…just fucking take it.
I guess we gotta ride the tiger
Ride first for shits and giggles…then let yourself be devoured.
But I warn you….she is tried of games. Of shit and giggle fun. She’s ready for what comes after.
Huh. I wrote a song when I was a teenager about being old and dying that imagined a divine feminine entity “taking me up and turning me into fire in her breast.” That’s some Jungian, Rupert Sheldrake shit. Still a reluctant agnostic, for now …
https://on.soundcloud.com/v7tK2fxwRv3Qkeb51s
I'm listening to it. Beautifully approapriate.
Keep on searching Biff. Wrestling with God is a worthy effort.
Imagine anyone being able to understand the female mind. Lol. The concept of the masculine and feminine coming together is found in most esoteric traditions, especially Kashmiri Shaivaism, although seemingly absent from Sufism. I wonder if the sufis are experiencing something more masculine or feminine in their love for the divine, but then again we have an embodiment problem, since most of them don't describe it in those terms.
I am not stuck on any particular traditions, but adhere to what is working for me in any given stage. I tried complacency and it's didn't work out for me very well. Haha. I ttied quitting the spiritual altogether, frustrated and nihilistic after trying to bypass my life, but that only lasted three days. So I have no choice, it seems, but to keep striving, where ever that takes me. It doesn't end with Odin. Even Odin wouldn't end his quest with Odin.
That was poignant, about the dying Christ in your arms. I do struggle with his figure, though. I cannot reconcile living this earthly life with having universal morality, although I know his example of perfection has been commodified and skewed, and his deeper teachings hidden. Or maybe I am just too far away from perfection to see it possible. I should give that some thought.
Apologies for my babbling. But I can't promise I won't do it again. Ha. I haven't talked this much about anything I care about for yeeeeeears as I have in the last few days.
We need to wrestle with God. It is just what it is.
I also had multiple phases, raised catholic, staunch atheist, and then realizing that the need for transcendence is fundamental to the human existence BECAUSE, something truthful is there, even cannot be grasped by bounded intellect.
My sense is that God has infinite faces and speaks to you with no words but in the language you are capable to hear and as such, for me Christ works well, I can expand on that if you wish, but it's lateral to the conversation, what I find important in this dialogue is your spirit of research, we shall always be moved by doubt but preserve child-like curiosity.
And please, no apologies accepted here: it's always a pleasure to chat with you. Glad to have found you on the feed.
We need to continue wrestling, because this is how we train our soul.
It's all worth the wrestling when you find meaning and beauty and experience the ecstasy of surrender, and witness change in your being. There are long periods of time when you feel like you are circling the drain, only to find out you've been morphing within a cocoon.
The study too, the curiosity, even if it cannot be grasped with the mind, I love the different traditions, theories of metaphysics, the different personalities of God.
I was a staunch atheist for the longest time, having been raised by fundamentalist Christians (fire and brimstone, speaking in tongues, evangelism...) Thank God for putting psychedelics on this earth. I felt actual love for the first time in my life on mushrooms. Anything preceding that moment was only a facsimile of love. It annihilate me from the inside out, and I could not tell if I was the one doing the loving, or if I was being loved. I couldn't deny anymore; I couldn't dismiss what I knew deep inside - that this material world was only a tiny fraction of existence. I wanted to believe as a child, but shut myself off because of the church.
Yes, another conversation, another time. Please tell me about your relationship to Christ. I want to know in which ways it is unique, and how it is right for you.
It's a long and multifacetd relationship, everytime I enter in contemplation of it I discover something new about it. This trait is for one quite key in making me more connected to Him. there is something mysterious in a source of continuously renewing meaning.
Some elements worth sharing that made it for me: the discovery of love as the fundamental drive towards the one and the metaphysical need for proper suffering to mediate the process.
I always liked Christ, but never fully understood what he came on earth for. Why didn't he come off the cross, in full glory, in front of everybody? I kept on asking, Why die and resurrect?
The answer came to me while reading Girard.
Big J comes here and says: Put it all on me, I will take it. Suffering all the worst, the treason of the closest friends, my mother looking at me, bleeding, suffocating, humiliated. The whole world scapegoating Him, me included, unleashing our worst. Liberating ourselves, finally feeling superior. Fully embodying the Girardian reference.
And when it is done. When all comes back to normality. We will look for another scapegoat. A new sacrifice for the never-ending wheel of life.
But right there, you come back, big J. Flipping the table. You turn back at me.
Me that I cheered on your sacrifice, and I did not see.
And I tremble, because I killed the son of God. What terrible punishment awaits me? I deserve the worst of all.
But you come closer, and whisper into my ear: “I still love you”.
How is it possible that you can, J?
But you do. And from there the world is changed. A new one is born. From there, you go on and conquer it, and with it, my poor, wretched heart.
If he was helpless...if he could not have come off that cross and shot lasers out of his eyes at the jeering spectators, then the meaning of sacrifice would have been lost. He had a choice in the matter. Without that choice, he would have been a mere victim.
I love the mystery of God. The ability to always find a new aspect, another facet of grace. There is no growth without a mystery to chase, and it is in our best interest not to become attached to anything that would cage him with definition. To remove the framing of descriptors and concept to allow experience to take precedence.
I did pray to Jesus once, after learning that such a thing actually works. I apologized for holding him with such contempt. It was the fault of dogma, not his, that I rejected him in the first place. I felt like he accepted it. Like he somehow missed me from when I was young. But I was on a different path...I remembered after reading what you'd said here.
To be willing to suffer for another out of love, there is no higher meaning to the word. There is no more noble definition than this.
Thank you.
I can relate.
Her call is strong. I am both lost and found in her gaze.
Beautiful piece!💖
Grateful for the attention 🙏
I'm sure Maa is pleased with your tribute. That was a lovely treat to read, the last thing in my head as I drift off to sleep.
I play on the swings whenever I get the chance. It was a nice twist at the end to come back to this reality, sitting in the swing, writing in the sand.
She is both executioner and redeemer
I can't stop thinking about the mother goddess now. I tend to shy away from her. She spits her sweet venom that crawls up my spine, and leaves me alone with the consequences. My only warning of that impending visit is dreams of snakes.
I think it is a polarity thing - she is feminine; so am I. She's sweeter to men. And the opposite can be said of Odin. From what I hear, he is severe with men, but with him I feel like a little baby girl, sitting in his lap, playing with his beard. He is always firm but clear, while she confuses me, leaving me in a bipolar haze for a week.
I know people don't like when you anthropomorphize the gods, but sometimes it suits me. Other times I am in love with the absolute.
One thing I do know - I am clearly not ready for her. She is the final boss.
<bowser.jpg>
The Great Mother is no joke, as everything else, she possesses a dual nature (Virgin Mary/Whore of Babylon, Kali/Parvati, Procreating Womb/Devouring Mouth) but hers is particularly volatile.
She is fascinating because she is the darkness of potentiality before consciousness arose, and since consciousness is exhausting, wanting to go back is a constant push in the human mind. But once conquered she is the bearer of fruit.
In the male mind, she appears in the form of the Anima, integrating with her is the path towards individuation Jung mapped out. She is typically a guide towards understanding the Self, which symbol is perfectly embodied by Christ. Making peace with her is source of great alignment, that is why I love her so much.
The female mind is still an object that I struggle to fully comprehend. In there the Anima appears as Animus, a male counterpart, the interaction dynamic with him are more obscure for me, since I don't have an embodied experience of what it feels like. I think Odin can be a good one, provided that you don't stop there. The ultimate objective is full integration.
Again, Christ works well I think for both Female and Male mind, probably in the form of the Dying Christ, which lays in your loving hands, and where you become the reviving spirit that makes the world. I don't know. I still have to wrestle with this.