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Nipun Tewari's avatar

Lovely narration man, love the way how you paint the characters and the scene! And I like the way each character has a unique, palpable personality

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Mister Shock's avatar

Man, this is the type of stuff the legends of hardboiled detective fiction, and pulp noir are made of. Not just saying so I mean it. Stikes the perfect balance between sophisticated prose and a tone of vague simplicity that allows the reader to follow the story without their senses being overridden by too many details. I like the tiny details that are specified like the car's mile gauge and turning on the radio to kill the silence. Hates music but hates silence. Just news reports to make some noise. Great pulpy noir ... I hunt for this type of stuff. The car coughs to life. That was another dope line.

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MaDMan's avatar

The world conforms to your eyes. One can either love it or hate it and that's a judgement on oneself. The car engine coughs? Those are your lungs after too many cigs. The night seems a black hole? That's your soul slowly slithering away.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

I like the police chief here. He hates music and he hates the silence. Hehe. I enjoy his gruffness. I also love the description of the footsteps on the asphalt, like walking on insect carcasses. This is great world-building. I feel like I am there. And I'm wondering just how Marzio Solimena met his end. Great stuff.

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MaDMan's avatar

He's rough and coarse, while everything else around tries only to evaporate away

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Ben Sellars's avatar

You have a fantastic way of painting the scene. I could almost smell and feel the thick smoke, then again the smoke in the car. You bring the setting to life both indoors and out.

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MaDMan's avatar

Humbled 🙇‍♂️

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Gabe.G Taylor's avatar

So good, I'm gripped!

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MaDMan's avatar

Thank you for your attention Gabe 🙏

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